I can't even describe the fighting I would go through for you
But I may as well try.
You're Everything. Everything that anyone could ever want to be. Who wouldn't fall in love with you? The most amazing person ever, standing before me, acting like he was Nothing. It's hard for Everything to pull off acting like Nothing, wouldn't you think? Yet you do so without a care in the world
You're my freedom. Anything seems possible with you. And when you get excited over something, however minor it is, the glint in your eye could never fail to bring a smile to my face. Every day I talk to you it feels like a blessing, every second
There's a reason people don't like being wrong.
I just can't seem to figure it out.
It's very odd, because I personally have been wrong many times,
And more often, people have been wrong about me.
Dead Wrong.
They thought I liked him.
They were dead wrong (at the time, at least)
Though I did grow to like him, I did not before.
I almost wish I hadn't learned to like him.
He only caused me more grief than I needed.
They thought I was over him.
They were dead wrong.
My depression had only begun, even 3 months after.
At times it became so bad that I forgot what was causing it in the first place.
Unfortunately, it would only get much
I see you walking by, your hair in your face.
I am 33% sure that you would make a good friend.
Your beauty is the only reason I am not so positive,
But you quickly prove that my 33% was enough to be right.
You sit next to me, laughing and smiling.
I am 33% sure that you have the best smile I'll ever see,
And the best laugh I'll ever hear.
This 33% increases as I hear you laugh more and more.
I miss your laugh, but you say it hurts now.
I am 33% sure that you only have a minor illness, not a serious one.
The odds are not in your favor this time,
But I hope that my 33% is right, like the other times.
I am soon proved wrong as you be
Welcome to the place where all of my opportunities go to die;
Where I see them locked away, never to happen upon me again.
But they are not hidden behind locked doors
They are behind locked windowsvisible, but unable to be reached.
I walk the dreary room, often enclosed in my depression for hours.
Here's the spelling bee I could have won,
If only my brain hadn't told me to hurry up and spell sauerkraut.
Success lies beyond that window. I may never have such a chance again.
Here's the track medal I could have earned,
If only my brain hadn't convinced me I was ahead of the record.
Pride and respect lies beyond that window.
I sit high on a cliff, looking down into the sea of immensely thick and tall trees. Bow in hand; I am poised to reach for an arrow any minute. A twig snaps down and to the right, and before the sound has the chance to echo off the canyon behind me, an arrow is soaring through the air. I'm not worried about hurting any people that may come down herenobody ever does. It's too far for people in my neighborhood, and there are no other near villages if you don't count Heathens. But why would royalty spend their time getting their expensive clothes dirty in the woods? A sudden sound brings me back to my senses.
I reach out to him.
I am subtle out of timidity, though I'm still crushed when he doesn't notice.
I attempt telling myself I can wait, although thoughts of doubt plague my mind.
Should I really love him if he doesn't return my feelings?
Moronically, I tell you among many others about my emotions,
Making sure to mention the irrationality and stupidity of this love.
I believe I told one too many people.
You reach out to me.
You lack the subtlety in your revelation that many others would have included.
Guilt washes throughout my mind, paralyzing my body from the inside,
And my mouth ceases to function correctly at a time I need it most
So what if gateways are important?
They don't lead to anything that great, anyways.
Where's the gateway to my childhood?
Where's the gateway to the happy memories?
Where's the gateway to life lost?
Where's the gateway to love?
I used to have such a gateway.
Where has it gone?
Where have you gone?
You reminded me of my childhoodthe innocence of it all.
You let me think back to better days in the tough times;
Nonetheless, you are a part of all my best memories.
You would make me forget lives lost; forget the pain
And you were love.
You were the gateway to all that was best in me
And I wish you hadn't closed on
I have and always will live
Forever.
I've witnessed murders, and suicides,
And people just growing old and dying.
I've seen the effects of global warming
And the destruction of nature.
I've seen the discovery of new species
While others I've witnessed go extinct.
I was in attendance when countries were discovered
And was there when more were destroyed.
I watched the world change
And have watched myself change with it.
I know I'll witness both the world and I transform;
Change so much over such a meaningless increment of time
I was there at the beginning
And I'll be there at the end
For I still have an eternity to live.
I can't even describe the fighting I would go through for you
But I may as well try.
You're Everything. Everything that anyone could ever want to be. Who wouldn't fall in love with you? The most amazing person ever, standing before me, acting like he was Nothing. It's hard for Everything to pull off acting like Nothing, wouldn't you think? Yet you do so without a care in the world
You're my freedom. Anything seems possible with you. And when you get excited over something, however minor it is, the glint in your eye could never fail to bring a smile to my face. Every day I talk to you it feels like a blessing, every second
I have and always will live
Forever.
I've witnessed murders, and suicides,
And people just growing old and dying.
I've seen the effects of global warming
And the destruction of nature.
I've seen the discovery of new species
While others I've witnessed go extinct.
I was in attendance when countries were discovered
And was there when more were destroyed.
I watched the world change
And have watched myself change with it.
I know I'll witness both the world and I transform;
Change so much over such a meaningless increment of time
I was there at the beginning
And I'll be there at the end
For I still have an eternity to live.
There's a reason people don't like being wrong.
I just can't seem to figure it out.
It's very odd, because I personally have been wrong many times,
And more often, people have been wrong about me.
Dead Wrong.
They thought I liked him.
They were dead wrong (at the time, at least)
Though I did grow to like him, I did not before.
I almost wish I hadn't learned to like him.
He only caused me more grief than I needed.
They thought I was over him.
They were dead wrong.
My depression had only begun, even 3 months after.
At times it became so bad that I forgot what was causing it in the first place.
Unfortunately, it would only get much
I see you walking by, your hair in your face.
I am 33% sure that you would make a good friend.
Your beauty is the only reason I am not so positive,
But you quickly prove that my 33% was enough to be right.
You sit next to me, laughing and smiling.
I am 33% sure that you have the best smile I'll ever see,
And the best laugh I'll ever hear.
This 33% increases as I hear you laugh more and more.
I miss your laugh, but you say it hurts now.
I am 33% sure that you only have a minor illness, not a serious one.
The odds are not in your favor this time,
But I hope that my 33% is right, like the other times.
I am soon proved wrong as you be
Welcome to the place where all of my opportunities go to die;
Where I see them locked away, never to happen upon me again.
But they are not hidden behind locked doors
They are behind locked windowsvisible, but unable to be reached.
I walk the dreary room, often enclosed in my depression for hours.
Here's the spelling bee I could have won,
If only my brain hadn't told me to hurry up and spell sauerkraut.
Success lies beyond that window. I may never have such a chance again.
Here's the track medal I could have earned,
If only my brain hadn't convinced me I was ahead of the record.
Pride and respect lies beyond that window.
I sit high on a cliff, looking down into the sea of immensely thick and tall trees. Bow in hand; I am poised to reach for an arrow any minute. A twig snaps down and to the right, and before the sound has the chance to echo off the canyon behind me, an arrow is soaring through the air. I'm not worried about hurting any people that may come down herenobody ever does. It's too far for people in my neighborhood, and there are no other near villages if you don't count Heathens. But why would royalty spend their time getting their expensive clothes dirty in the woods? A sudden sound brings me back to my senses.
I reach out to him.
I am subtle out of timidity, though I'm still crushed when he doesn't notice.
I attempt telling myself I can wait, although thoughts of doubt plague my mind.
Should I really love him if he doesn't return my feelings?
Moronically, I tell you among many others about my emotions,
Making sure to mention the irrationality and stupidity of this love.
I believe I told one too many people.
You reach out to me.
You lack the subtlety in your revelation that many others would have included.
Guilt washes throughout my mind, paralyzing my body from the inside,
And my mouth ceases to function correctly at a time I need it most
So what if gateways are important?
They don't lead to anything that great, anyways.
Where's the gateway to my childhood?
Where's the gateway to the happy memories?
Where's the gateway to life lost?
Where's the gateway to love?
I used to have such a gateway.
Where has it gone?
Where have you gone?
You reminded me of my childhoodthe innocence of it all.
You let me think back to better days in the tough times;
Nonetheless, you are a part of all my best memories.
You would make me forget lives lost; forget the pain
And you were love.
You were the gateway to all that was best in me
And I wish you hadn't closed on
"There are good days and there are bad days," you would say to me as you would try and explain away why the whiskey bottle was empty again this morning, why you smelled like her and why you thought it was best to let me know what you had done. At least that way, you were absolved of the gift of lying; the one your bones were too light to lift and just couldn't take, by bestowing me with betrayal.
My mother would bring me an encouraging cup of tea in a giant pink mug instead of a cup and explain, "There are good days and there are bad days." Her eyes were always full of positive energy and strength and good will. I look back to those days and
I have 7 days until I've "been here" for 2 years.
That's pretty much it, this is about the first time I've been on since the last journal entry. Glad people still love this site even though I've moved on to youtube addiction. Have a nice day!
Is my guess. I haven't been here in a long time. Last time I even posted a journal was February 10, 2012. Holy crap. So much has changed. Surrendered Hero deactivated her account, and I have had so many more things going on.
Marching band takes up my life. Deviantart doesn't seem to have the appeal anymore. I'm trying to help a bunch of my friends go through tough times while going through extremely tough times myself. I have over a thousand notification thingies that I'm not sure if I want to go through. I look back at my writing and hate it. I haven't written anything in ages. I don't know where my life went, but I really didn't like it, a
You are silly :0 I know who you are... Where you go to school... Where you were last Friday night...! I hope our dear friend has told you who this is... Otherwise, this comment would be really creepy... Wow!! I must like these dotdotdots!! ... ... ...